The Tyranny of the Shoulds

Stacy was trying to SHOULD me.

So, she quoted 2 Corinthians 5 in this way:
14 For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead:
15 And that he died for all, THAT they which live SHOULD NOT HENCEFORTH LIVE UNTO THEMSELVES, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

MY REPLY:

AIN’T IT FUNNY… how you emphasize IN ALL CAPS the work that the creature must do. I prefer to emphasize IN ALL CAPS what God has done in Christ’s work on the cross. To me, it seems much more important to see what HE HAS DONE or IS DOING. Thus, I would have put some things in verse 14 in ALL CAPS… like… “for the love of Christ constrains us”… or “if one died for all”…. Those are things GOD HAS DONE or IS DOING… and that’s what I believe in. But what do I know, I’m just a dumb ole farm boy.

MY REPLY:

DEAR STACY, REGARDING THE WORD “SHOULD“…

There is no moral obligation on the word SHOULD… as in … “if I push the glass to the edge of the table far enough, it SHOULD fall to the floor.”

If you use the word OUGHT, perhaps it has a moral connotation to it… as in … “Stacy OUGHT to behave herself.”

But with the word SHOULD… it’s more of a resultative action, caused by some other factors.

Which is why I would emphasize VERSE 14 more than 15.

ONE FINAL THOUGHT:

In the 1930’s (I think) a phychologist named Karen Horney wrote a little book called THE TYRANNY OF THE SHOULDS. I haven’t read the essay completely, but the title seems self-evident that we can tyrannize ourselves and others with SHOULDS.
I’m telling you Stacy, there is peace in focusing on God’s work, rather than man’s work.

BTW… I found a PDF of Karen’s little book. Here is a quote and the link:

“When we realize the enormous coercive power of the shoulds we must raise one question, the answer to which we shall discuss in the fifth chapter: what does it do to a person when he recognizes that he cannot measure up to his inner dictates? To anticipate the answer briefly: then he starts to hate and despise himself. We cannot in fact understand the full impact of the shoulds unless we see the extent to which they are interwoven with self-hate. It is the threat of a punitive self-hate that lurks behind them, that truly makes them a regime of terror.”

Click to access PERFECTIONISM-HorneyKarenTyrannyOfTheShould.pdf

HOW TO READ THE BIBLE SO THAT IT MAKES SENSE FOR TODAY.

Whenever you give a bible to someone as a gift, take the 13 letters of Paul and use a yellow highlighter and highlight the edges of the pages… to make Paul’s letters easy to find… and when you hand the bible over to them, tell them to ESPECIALLY read Paul’s letters, because Paul is our apostle. And God gave him the “gospel of grace” … also called the “gospel of the uncircumcision”.

P.S. IF YOU WANT TO READ THE BIBLE, start with the 13 letters of Paul. Romans through Philemon. The rest of the Bible is mostly for and about the Jews. In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, the first two chapters talk about how Paul had to smack Peter around a bit, to get him to understand that Paul’s message to the Gentiles was different, all about GRACE… and that Peter, James and John were sent to the circumcision (Jews) and their message was about WORKS.

Once you make this distinction, the whole bible makes a lot more sense, and contradictions disappear.

For example, the gospel of the circumcision is all about grace and works, whereas Paul’s message to us today is all about grace and faith. Big difference.

If you don’t do this… and instead read and try to apply all of the bible to yourself today, you’re going to make a mess of it all… like making a soup of it.

Notice the “address on the envelope”… and you’ll get more out of the letter when you read it. If the letter is addressed to your sister, or neighbor, you’ll understand it’s message better.

Most of the bible is addressed to the Jews who follow God. Only Paul’s letters are addressed to the nations (Jew and Gentile). And you’ll find it so much more enjoyable.
Grace to you.

STACY BELIEVES IN HER BELIEF.

STACY SAID: I do BELIEVE that…His resurrection is the assurance of our salvation…that’s how simple it is…BELIEVE that His resurrection is the assurance of your salvation and you shall be saved at that moment. His resurrection is our HOPE. If your HOPE is IN something else other than His death and resurrection than I am sent to REASON WITH you so that you may PUT it IN HIM. I’, just reasoning this out in my head because God made me capable of reasoning.

Who is the “our” that the scripture is referring to? Those that BELIEVE that His resurrection is the assurance of salvation by means of reasoning and persuasion. The Holy Spirit spoke to us through God’s word.

MY REPLY:

YOU SAID: I do BELIEVE that…His resurrection is the assurance of our salvation I SAY: AMEN.

STACY SAID: Who is the “our” that the scripture is referring to? Those that BELIEVE that His resurrection is the assurance of salvation by means of reasoning and persuasion. The Holy Spirit spoke to us through God’s word.

No, no… I’m talking about His resurrection being the thing that saves you.

 MY REPLY: OH, I GET IT… you believe your belief is what saves you.

I was confused there for a second. I thought you said His resurrection is the assurance of our salvation. For a moment I thought we were on the same page.

So, you don’t think the resurrection has any real power to save… instead… it’s our belief that saves (“at the moment you believe” is what I think you said.)

Funny… I thought Christ died for all. I thought this resurrection thing meant something big. I’m a bit let down.

GOD LOCKS UP ALL TOGETHER IN STUBBORNNESS — PAUL (ROMANS 11:32)

DEAR STACY,

YOU SAID:

“We are NOT LOCKED UP in stubbornness. That would be UNREASONABLE.”

“For God hath concluded them all in unbelief, that he might have mercy upon all.”

MY REPLY:
The Concordant Literal New Testament said “God locks up all together in stubbornness that He should be merciful to all”

I posted the GREEK TEXT here:
https://acetheologicalco.wordpress.com/2020/07/14/freewillers-hate-romans-1132/

Your favored translation merely “concludes” that all are in unbelief.
As if… God is not in control. He merely surveyed the situation and considered His efforts useless… hopeless… a waste. So, on to PLAN B.

I’m saying that GOD HATH… in other words… IT’S AN ACTION OF GOD.
But you’re downplaying GOD’S ACTION in favor of MAN’S ALMIGHTY ABILITY, man’s so-called FREEWILL….MAN’S ACTIONS

GOD HATH done this. He hath “concluded them all in unbelief” — they did not conclude themselves in unbelief, instead, GOD HATH concluded them.

If mankind put themselves in unbelief, such a thought suggests that God has lost control… and this “mercy” is a PLAN B because PLAN A did not work.

But if GOD HATH DONE THIS… then it suggests that God did not screw up, that it was all planned out from the beginning.

Your love of freewill diminishes THE WILL OF GOD.

“GOD wills that all mankind be saved and come into a realization of the truth.” I TIM 2:4
And I trust the WILL OF GOD, rather than THE WILL OF MAN.

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, no “ifs” “ands” or “buts”.

Dear Stacy,
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners — Paul
Somehow I do not think you believe this.
You seem to believe Christ Jesus came into the world… not to save sinners… but to merely “make it possible” for them to be save themselves– and not all of them… just a few of them at that.

And you protest… “IT’S UNREASONABLE FOR GOD TO CONTROL ALL THINGS” (in so many words)

Paul wrote about you here:
Verse 19: One of you will say to me, “Then why does God still find fault? For who can resist His will?”
Verse 20: But who are you, O man (or in this case ‘woman’), to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to Him who formed it, “WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS?”
Verse 21: Does not the potter have the right to make from the same lump of clay one vessel for special occasions and another for common use?
(FROM Romans 9, your favored version, the Berean Study Bible.)

Isaiah wrote about you here:
16 You have turned things upside down, as if the potter were regarded as clay.
Shall what is formed say to him who formed it,
“He did not make me”?
Can the pottery say of the potter, “He has no understanding”?
(FROM Isaiah 29, Berean Study Bible.)

You keep protesting that it’s just not fair, it not reasonable, and you’ll not put up with it.
And I think you’re cute.

I know it hard to see how this will all work out. And I’m sure you’re plan of action is better than God’s plan… but for the moment, you’re not in control, so, we’ve only one choice, Trust God in these matters.

All these things are part of God eonian purpose. That purpose is mentioned in Ephesians 3:11. It’s a verse worth considering.
Most bible translations screw this verse up… by saying “God’s eternal purpose”.
But the very word PURPOSE suggests limits on the adjective “AIONIAN” .
If it were correct to say “eternal purpose”… you’d be saying a purpose that has no beginning and no end.
But if I’m right… and the correct translation is GOD’S EONIAN PURPOSE…
Then… we would understand that this PURPOSE begins with the eons of time and ends with the eons of time.
And you know… the Bible mentions “before the eons” (Note the plural), “the end of the eons”, “this eon”, “the eons to come”… etc… it’s language that would make no sense if it meant ETERNAL… “before the eternals”, “the end of the eternals” “this eternal”… etc.

God’s purpose is an eonian purpose… not an eternal purpose.
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.
It is the foundation of God’s eonian purpose.
If He does not save sinners, then He failed to save sinners.
If He is only going to save only a few sinners, (which seems to be your story) then it’s a story that takes the focus off of what God achieved in Christ’s death, entombment and resurrection… and puts the focus on something else… something of equal or more importance than the cross. A something which you seem to be heralding.

Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners… not just the good ones, but even the “CHIEF OF SINNERS”, Paul himself.

See I TIMOTHY 1:15

“Not for all is the faith.” — Paul

DEAR STACY,
FAITH IS A GIFT… GIVEN TO SOME… BUT NOT TO ALL… IF YOU DON’T HAVE FAITH, IT WAS NOT GRANTED TO YOU. FAITH IS IMPORTANT FOR THE SPECIAL SALVATION RESERVED ONLY FOR THE BELIEVERS (SEE I TIM 4:10)… BUT KEEP IN MIND, IF WE WANT TO DISCUSS ULTIMATE HUMAN DESTINY… THAT’S A DIFFERENT TOPIC WITH A DIFFERENT TIMELINE IN GOD’S CALENDAR. — GOD IS THE SAVIOR OF ALL, ESPECIALLY THE BELIEVERS — PAUL.
DURING THE EONS OF TIME, IT’S IMPORTANT THAT SOME NOT BELIEVE… HUMAN DESTINY DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON GOD’S PURPOSE.
SIN, IS A PREREQUISITE TO SALVATION.
ONE CUP, EARLY IN THE MORNING.

———————————
DEAR STACY,
For in grace, through faith, are you saved, and this is NOT OUT OF YOU; it is God’s approach present, — Paul
… yet to those who ARE CALLED, both Jews and Greeks, Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God, — Paul
…but to be of a sane disposition, as God PARTS TO EACH the measure of faith. — Paul
…for to you it is GRACIOUSLY GRANTED, for Christ’s sake, not only to be believing on Him… — Paul
… for NOT FOR ALL is the faith… — Paul

(REFERENCE: EPHESIANS 2:8, 1 Corinthians 1:24, Romans 12:3, Philippians 1:29, 2 Thessalonians 3:2)

AGAIN I SAY, FAITH IS A GIFT. IF ONE HAS NO FAITH, IT WAS NOT GRANTED TO HIM/HER. Faith is all about the special salvation God has for the believers (I TIM 4:10)
which is part of God’s eonian purpose. (Eph 3:11)
During the eons of time, certain things happen, but after the eons end, then other things happen.

THERE ARE CASES WHERE THE “FREE GIFT” CANNOT BE REJECTED!

Dear Stacy,
There are cases where the gift cannot be rejected. Example: THE KINSMAN REDEEMER… in the O.T. if you got into trouble, even to the point where you lost all your property, and we’re imprisoned or made a slave… the ELDER BROTHER or nearest kinsman has an obligation to REDEEM YOU.
If he did not redeem you, his name was to be blotted out — not mentioned — in the genealogical records. His name was to be SO AND SO. And if the KINSMAN did redeem you, you had no choice but to follow along with his redemption. You could not remain a slave or deeply indebted, if you were redeemed.
You’ll find a KINSMAN REDEEMER story mentioned in the story of RUTH and BOAZ.
YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT… you have no option to REJECT IT. If you’re redeemed, you’re redeemed whether you like it or not.
Now, put this big idea into light with Christ, who is “the firstborn of all creation” (says Paul in Colossians 1:16) And as our “elder brother” he is obligated to redeem his KIN . And his redemption of creation must be complete or Christ’s name is to be SO AND SO (dishonor). Instead, we find that EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, AND EVERY TONGUE WILL CONFESS so that GOD GIVES HIM A NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES.

Maybe this example is not in the scripture, but if you’re lying unconscious and need an organ transplant, and a donor supplies the organ, you wake up and the “gift” cannot be rejected.

Again, this GIFT of redemption is not a choice on the part of the sinner, it is the operation of God, in the cross of Christ.
Christ to redeemed all.

So what, if some don’t see it, accept it, know it, YET… one day every knee will bow. One day, God will be all in all.

Brother Tony wrote a fine article about the KINSMAN REDEEMER we have in Christ. SEE THE ARTICLE HERE:

https://acetheologicalco.wordpress.com/2020/04/07/christ-the-firstborn-of-every-creature-the-redeemer-of-all/

THE PROBLEM WITH FREEWILL IS…

by focusing on man’s so-called freewill, and man’s freewill decision, it’s hard to see that God has much of a role in thing thing. It’s like man-worship, not God-worship.
After all, God only made your salvation “possible”…. not actual.
It’s possible… but that’s about it.
Nothing to see here, move along.
“It is not of him that willeth” says Paul. (SEE Romans 9:16-19)

FROM ROMANS 9 —

16 Consequently, then, it is not of him who is willing, nor of him who is racing, but of God, the Merciful.
17 For the scripture is saying to Pharaoh that “For this selfsame thing I rouse you up, so that I should be displaying in you My power, and so that My name should be published in the entire earth.”
18 Consequently, then, to whom He will, He is merciful, yet whom He will, He is hardening.
19 You will be protesting to me, then, “Why, then, is He still blaming? for who has withstood His intention?”
20 O man! who are you, to be sure, who are answering again to God? That which is molded will not protest to the molder, “Why do you make me thus?”

Not All Are Saved By Faith, Some Will SEE, So “Faith” Is Not Needed.

 Dear Stacy,
You are right, we are saved by faith… that is, we who are saved in this era. Not all are saved by faith. Some are to be saved by sight. For example Paul was saved by sight, his experience on the road to Damascus was not a “salvation by faith” experience… you can read about it in Acts. In this day and age, an age of Grace, God saves by faith and it’s a special salvation. Do you remember that “God is the savior of all, especially of believers”??? At this moment in time, believers get a special salvation not reserved for others.
Not all are saved by faith… Paul, when he was Saul, was not… he bowed the knee and confessed in a rather non-freewill kind-of-way…. blinded, humiliated, helpless, plenty of “force”. And yet, he was saved. We might say his was a “special” salvation. Certainly different that how I came into the way.
Regarding my example of gifts that cannot be rejected, the KINSMAN REDEEMER is a perfectly scriptural example. And should be a lesson to all, that your acceptance of your redemption is a MUST… not because your acceptance redeems you, for you’ve already been redeemed by your KIN, whether you accept it or not, your acceptance merely grows on you as you get use to your new life as one who has been redeemed. Your acceptance didn’t redeem you, your KINSMAN redeemed you, without even speaking to you… he redeemed you while you were in dire straights… locked up… in debt… a slave… When you are handed over by the guard to the KINSMAN REDEEMER… you are astonished…. in a state of disbelief… confused… what’s going on here… And little by little realize you’ve been redeemed… and you “believe”… and your belief matches the reality of what your KIN has done.

Kinsman Redeemer story: see Ruth and Boaz. (SEE THIS ARTICLE.)
If the nearest kin does not redeem, his name is shamed.
If he does redeem, his name is honored.

FROM PHILLIPPIANS CHAPTER TWO:
9 Wherefore, also, God highly exalts Him, and graces Him with the name that is above every name,
10 that in the name of Jesus every knee should be bowing, celestial and terrestrial and subterranean,
11 and every tongue should be acclaiming that Jesus Christ is Lord, for the glory of God, the Father.

Keep in mind Stacy, that no one can redeem himself. It is up to our elder kinsman to redeem us. Acceptance comes after we’ve already been redeemed.

“Paul, a slave of Christ…”

THE FIRST 5 WORDS OF THE BOOK OF ROMANS, WAS NOT WRITTEN BY A “FREEWILLer”.
“Paul, a slave of Christ…”
Whoever wrote these five words knew something about bondage. And “freewill” was not his thing.

Notice the first words of I CORINTHIANS also… were not written by a “freewiller”….
“Paul, a called apostle of Christ Jesus, through the will of God”
He DID NOT say, “Paul, a called apostle through my freewill decision,”… NO, it all happened “THROUGH THE WILL OF GOD”. Not Paul’s will.

And the same thing in 2 CORINTHIANS — “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, through the will of God,”

And to the Ephesians he also does not brag on his will but.. “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus through the will of God,”

And to the Philippians he brings Timothy in on this SLAVE thing… again, not the language of a FREEWILL DOCTRINE enthusiast…
” Paul and Timothy, slaves of Christ Jesus, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi”

And in his letter to the Colossian brethern… does he brag on his FREEWILL CHOICE.. no…his opening words are…
“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, through the will of God…”
He is talking about something that came about THROUGH THE WILL OF GOD, not Paul’s will, THE WILL OF GOD.

NOTE THE OPENING LINE IN HIS LETTER TO TIMOTHY:
“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, according to the injunction of God”
Again, not bragging on his OWN freewill.
And his 2nd letter to Timothy: “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, through the will of God,”
And to Titus… “Paul, a slave of God…”
And finally, his letter to Philemon… not bragging in freewill… “Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus…”

I’m not sure Paul would last very long in a modern day Baptist church, or any other “freewill” institution.
Why? Because he was a SLAVE OF CHRIST. And he knew something about BONDAGE.